wandering mind

Managing Guilt

2007-03-28T10:06:00.000-04:00

I love planning always have and dreamed about the day I'd get to plan my wedding. When I watched other friends plan, I always thought I won't get that stressed out like that. we're not going to be that uptight about what's right and wrong. Little did I know. Everyone might said, it's your day do what you want. But in the end, I just want our family and friends to celebrate with us and enjoy themselves. I don't mind the suggestions from all the people around me, actually it helps to hear it early on. But being a little overwhelmed with all the thoughts on being considerate and etiquette, it helps to have read this article on Knot.com, Stress: Get a Grip on Guilt.

Crackpot

2007-03-07T16:45:00.000-05:00

A feel-good story

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of
a pole, which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and
always delivered a full portion of water, at the end of the long walk
from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home
only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was
proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of
its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what
it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the
woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this
crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your
house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your
side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I
have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your
side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to
decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there
would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we
each have that make our lives together so very interesting and
rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and
look for the good in them.

SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to
smell the flowers on your side of the path!

Letting Go

2007-02-28T19:29:00.000-05:00

I read once that stress is the emotion caused by the particular event. Anxiety is the emotion that lingers after the stressful event. In truth, I probably get depressed more from anxiety than from stress incidents.

I have a lot of frustration in my job and am really confused about what I want in my future, so I went and applied for a mentor at work. I hate to say that our first meeting was a venting session for me. I was really frustrated over the inefficiencies in the processes. A task that should only take one hour actually takes seven hours. There is no budget to develop the simple solution to resolve this, so we end up working overtime to get the task finished.

My mentor told me that I needed to accept that certain situations are not controllable and I need to learn to let go, especially if I already approached my manager about it. In instances where there might be an ethical issue, I can go to other experienced managers for advice. It’s hard to let go of issues on the days that I had to wake up at 5am and roll over to my laptop to start work immediately. But I do realize that there are about five other major time-consuming projects that I could concentrate on to fix other parts of the process. It didn’t help being bitter about loosing this one or many of the other battles. I guess life is about knowing which battles you can win, and just letting go of the ones you cannot. Plus it’s not like I’m married to my work. I think I’ll find another position soon.

People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them. - Epictetus

Winner

2007-02-22T21:20:00.000-05:00

The Winner is always a part of the answer;
The Loser is always a part of the problem

The winner always has a plan
The loser always has an excuse

The Winner says "Let me do it for you"
The loser says "That's not my Job"

The winner sees an answer in every problem
The loser sees a problem in every answer

The winner sees a Green near every sandtrap
The loser sees a sandtrap near every green

The winner says "It may be difficult but its possible.
The loser says 'It may be possible but its difficult"

-Anonymous

Attitude

2007-02-13T09:33:00.000-05:00

Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.
-Lou Holtz

Inspiration

2007-02-11T21:31:00.001-05:00

A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, it's better than no inspiration at all.
-Rita Mae Brown

Health Tips to reduce stress

2007-02-11T21:30:00.000-05:00

I thought this was a good article...
Fitting Healthy Habits Into Your Hectic Life
-- By SparkPeople

There just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to accomplish everything you need to do. And it can feel like an added stressor when you are trying to integrate healthy habits into your already hectic schedule. But if you make time for healthy habits, you’ll find yourself with extra reserves of energy that will lower your stress and help you get through life’s challenges.

Here are a few things you can start doing right now to make healthy habits a relatively painless part of your routine:

* Drink water throughout the day. You don’t hear this nearly enough: water is an all-purpose wonder-substance. It’s great for your skin, your digestive system, and circulatory system, and aids in weight loss and cellulite reduction. If you feel fatigued during the day, it’s often because you aren’t hydrated properly. Drink water throughout the day, sipping from a large bottle or glass. If you have it nearby, it’s easy to remember. If you don’t like the “taste” of water, keep a supply of lemon so that you can add a slice to your water – it cuts any bitterness, adds a bit of vitamin C and makes it taste more festive!

* Cut back on the amount of soda and coffee you drink. Sugar and caffeine dehydrate you and create energy rushes followed by crashes, which are ultimately energy-depleting. Substitute with drinks like green tea or 100% fruit juice.

* Replace high-sugar foods with low-sugar versions. Cutting back on the amount of refined sugar you consume helps reduce calories and weight gain and also helps you avoid the energy slumps that come from sugar withdrawal. Items high in refined sugar include most soft drinks, cereals, baked goods, and of course, candy and ice cream. Look for low-sugar or no-sugar versions of these, or simply opt for healthy snacks instead.

* Stock up on healthy, portable snacks. When you are grocery shopping, pick up bags of baby carrots, string cheese, nuts, fresh and dried fruit, single serving packs of applesauce, yogurt, wholegrain crackers, peanut butter, turkey jerky, etc. Having healthy portable snacks around will help you avoid bad vending-machine, convenience store and fast-food options. Read some more portable snack ideas.

* Take the time to plan healthy meals for the week. Spend 15 minutes or so to map out your meals. Keep it simple. Then, when you shop for groceries, make your purchases based on the meals you will make during the week. This will help you avoid relying on less healthy take-out or fast food choices. Learn even more grocery store tips.

* Purchase frozen, ready-to-cook ingredients. Frozen fruits and vegetables have high vitamin and mineral content because they don’t sit around losing these nutrients for long before they are preserved. Although you’ll want to keep plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables around, it’s great to have frozen produce available for quick meal additions and smaller servings. Also, some grocery stores offer frozen boneless chicken breasts and a wide variety of seafood items in re-sealable packages. These are great for quick, healthy meals.

* Pack your lunch the night before. You'll have given yourself the gift of extra time in the morning and you will assure that you have a healthy meal during the day. Don’t forget to pack snack items so you can avoid the vending machine.
* Cook double batches of whatever you’re cooking. When you prepare dinner, especially on weekends, cook extra and freeze to use for another dinner or lunch. Then, you'll have a healthy meal ready to go when you are.

* Give yourself some slack. If you are stressed out about preparing healthy meals every day, use what some experts call the "80/20" rule in your eating. If 80 percent of what you eat is healthy, then allow yourself to take it a little easier for the remaining 20 percent. You and your diet will survive.

* Fit in exercise whenever you can. Experts recommend that adults exercise a minimum of 30 minutes three times per week. Aim for this amount, but don’t kick yourself if you can’t meet this goal. Any amount of exercise is better than none. No time to go to a gym? Build a stock of exercise tapes – many have routines that you can complete in 20-40 minutes. Use hand weights or do crunches, leg-lifts and lunges while watching television. Or invest in an exercise bike – you can pedal while catching up on your reading. Think of what would be most interesting to you and what best fits your schedule and budget.

* Take a walk break during the day. Even 20 minutes can make a difference in your energy level, plus it gives you time to clear your head. If you walk with a friend or colleague, it also gives you time to socialize.

* Whenever possible, walk. Increase the amount of time you can walk, versus sit or drive. It doesn’t take that much extra time to park a bit farther from the store entrance, or to make a personal visit to a colleague rather than phoning, instant messaging or e-mailing.

* Get enough sleep. Even if you gain more time in your day by cutting back on sleep, you will be less effective throughout the day, as your energy level and cognitive functioning will be reduced. Insufficient sleep also makes you more susceptible to illness. By getting enough sleep, you become more efficient during the time you are awake.

Begin integrating some or all of these habits today. Make them part of your normal routine. You’ll be surprised at how little time is involved and how much better you’ll feel!

Light

2007-02-08T12:05:00.000-05:00

Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.

-Chinese Proverb

Alive

2007-02-06T12:05:00.000-05:00

Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

-from Howard Thurman

Patience

2007-02-05T09:41:00.000-05:00

Be patient with everyone, but above all with thyself. Do not be disheartened by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage.
-from St. Francis de Sales

Optimism

2007-02-04T12:33:00.000-05:00

Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
-from Ambrose Bierce

Feel Good Photos

2007-02-03T10:10:00.000-05:00

I found my feel good site - Puppy Therapy.

Negativity Addiction

2007-02-02T12:24:00.000-05:00

I joined an on-line stress management program through work. I was given a long list of things I should do including: waking up with a smile, chose to be optimistic when you wake up, choose a positive word or phrase to use each day. My idea of looking at the upside is to think: it could be worse…

I then realized that I was addicted to negativity. When things seem too good to be true, don’t you think there must be a catch? If I have low expectations, then I’ll never be disappointed, right? All this negativity helped prepare me for the worst. But when did I start rolling my eyes during happy, sappy scenes in movies. When did I start looking for the faults before the benefits? When did thinking about smiling and positive thoughts just seem stressful and depressing?

There’s definite inner resistance to change. Other than pure will power and practice, there’s not a lot of advice to cure negative thinking. Many guidances say to make it a habit to reject negative thoughts and think positively, whether it’s internal or external. It 's definitely easier said than done. But one author came up with some good ideas at just practicing will power to start choosing your reactions instead “of being slaves to them.” The one I really need to follow is: when you want to say something that is not important, decide not to say it.

Living in New York -where a sardonic attitude is prevalent even encouraged - doesn’t help. It’s like an alcoholic working in a bar everyday. As one article said, negative and positive thinking is contagious. One helpful idea is to surround myself with happier things, ie feel good movies, articles, or even photos. Maybe, I need to pick up and read “Chicken Soup for the Soul.” The idea is to do something to make you smile; I’ll need to think really hard for something at work.

Stop trying to help...

2007-02-01T22:54:00.000-05:00

I moved to New York three and a half years ago. People ask me how I like it. I tell them that I fit in, sometimes too well. I am surrounded by people who are constantly trying to achieve something in their lives. Aggressiveness isn’t bad, people like results and it’s hard to get results if you don’t go after them. However it causes stress, not only for yourself, but often to those around you.

Someone recently told me that I was too aggressive and pushy, and it could be overbearing for those around me. I feel like a husband who tries to help his wife fix her problems, but she just get angry instead. They realized that I was just offering help, but people don’t want to be helped. I asked around, and the consensus was don’t try to help people if they don’t ask for it. Someone put it this way: occasional input is good because it may have insight; but your input/opinion shouldn't be the solution. Sometimes I’m screaming for help on the inside and really want someone to come and offer to help me. So I’ll often try to help others. But I realize now that people need to resolve things on their own, otherwise they can feel helpless or belittled. And often someone else's solution, isn't the best solution. So from now on, I have to learn to pay attention, listen, and stop trying to help people unless they ask for it.

Jim Stovall: You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins.

Return of the Blog!

2007-02-01T22:47:00.000-05:00

I’ve realized that I have slowly become more and more stressed out. It’s not like I’ve never been stressed out before, but it is negatively affecting my attitude and is seeping out and affecting those around me. I don’t like who I’m becoming, so I’m going to seriously try to work on a stress management. One idea was to write in a journal, so I’m starting this blog back up again. I’m going to write my thoughts about stress related items, my thoughts on stress coping techniques, and try to do thing like post inspiration quotes every couple days.

Sunset

2006-08-09T09:53:00.000-04:00

Hi All, Despite the many posts on this site and as interesting as my life has been. *_* I have decided to finally sunset this blog. Perhaps you will start receiving personal e-mails or even phone calls from me again, or for the first time. I had some negative feedback on group e-mails, so I'll try to avoid those. But if you're ever want to keep up, feel free to call, IM, or even visit NY and get free room and board. In the meantime, just know that my life is filled with work, MBA or trying to get in one, netflix, going out with friends to cool new resturants/bars, and trying to find time/money for another vacation.

Netflix

2006-07-13T22:29:00.000-04:00

I signed up for the free 2-week trial for Netflix. I figured that I had finished exams, and although I still had MBA applications, they weren't due for another 2 months, so now was as good a time as any. However with this unlimited rentals policy, I've been adding a multitude of movies to my queue just to make sure I could get my money's worth. Or whenever I start paying I would be able to get my money's worth. I'm starting to add movies that never really interested me, but I'm thinking why not, it can't hurt to order. Even those movies that did interest me, I haven't been really watching. I usually have other things to do and end up multitasking just so I can finish them and send them back so I can get the next set in the queue. I wonder if I keep this up, I'll learn to slow down, or maybe I should just slow down the membership to two DVDs at a time. But for an extra $3 a month, how can I resist staying on the three DVDs at a time membership. *_*

Nightmares.

2006-05-28T09:50:00.000-04:00

Lately I’ve been having a lot of bad dreams…probably for the last few months or so. Sometimes I don’t remember my dreams, since the alarm clock tends to shock any dream memories out of me, but when I do they’re not pleasant. They’re usually not violent and gory like the ones I had as a child. In the one I had last night, I was in a photography museum, and there were all these huge buttons on the wall that said vote for this photo if you like it. But it was a scam. When I pushed the button, my wallet was stolen, and I spent the whole night looking for it. I’ve dreamt about arguments with my boyfriend, witnessing a corporate scandal, driving in a snow/ice storm, etc. A while back I got a dream catcher, “made in china,” and I think it worked psychologically for about one week, because I stopped remembering dreams. But now they’re back. Now what do I do. *_*

GMAT

2006-05-22T20:49:00.000-04:00

I'm studying for the GMAT, which I'm taking on the Tuesday after Memorial Day. My scores aren't what I want them to be. But I've heard that often people do better on the actual exam than on the practice tests. But then I've heard that some people are pretty close to their practice scores. *_* I'm praying that the the former is true for me....OK enough procrastination. I better get back to the books...and praying... I can't wait 'till this is over.

Special B-Day

2006-04-08T20:12:00.000-04:00

In deference to Ryan's challange, I've completed the below for events on my birthday, November 3rd.

Events

1493 - Christopher Columbus first sights the island of Dominica in the Caribbean Sea.
1954 - The first in the Godzilla series of films is released in Japan.
2004 - A out of service WMATA Metrorail train crashes into a revenue train at the Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan (Washington Metro) station.

Births**

39 - Lucan, Roman poet
1982 - Evgeny Plushenko, Russian figure skater
1987 - Gemma Ward, Australian model

Deaths**

361 - Constantius II, Roman Emperor
1998 - Bob Kane, comic artist & Batman co creator
2004 - Sergei Zholtok, Latvian hockey player

Holidays

feast day of the 22 Roman Catholic Saints
Japan - Culture Day (post 1946), Emperors Birthday (pre 1946)
International Men's Day (?? what is that)

** I don't know who most of these people were, so I just took one from the beginning, end and middle of the list

DJ & Jager Returns

2006-03-30T09:43:00.000-05:00

I made a sequel to the DJ & Jager comic. Click on photo below for a larger version.

I obviously need to stop procrastinating studying. I have a practice GMAT exam tonight through Kaplan, I'm just glad it's a practice exam.

DJ & Jager Comic

2006-03-28T07:05:00.000-05:00

My parents sent me a bunch of photos of DJ, their new lab, with Jager his brother, who visited for a playing session. They're so cute. I couldn't resist doing something with them. (click on the photo below for larger versions)

P.S. My brother and I never acted like this.

Parents?

2006-03-13T23:48:00.000-05:00

So...back in January, my parents found out about my photo blog, even though I didn't tell them about it. I wasn't trying to be secretive. I didn't believe I had posted anything they'd be interested in. But it had me wondering whether they read this blog as well. They haven't mentioned anything about reading it. Yet it is linked to my original website, right under the link for the photo blog. So now I am trying to remember if I posted anything on this blog that I didn't particularly want my parents to know about. Probably. But the reason for them to not know is so that they won't worry them about my future behavior. But even if they had known what I did, I haven't felt unusually smothered with parental concerns. Does that mean I'm in good shape? Does it mean I've finally matured in their eyes, and they know they don't have to worry about me? Or does it mean that I didn't realize their parental concerns in the past were really a catalyst of one of my blogs. Or maybe they just don't read this blog, and they really don't know anything outside of what I tell them. Then again I didn't realize Ryan was secretly reading my blog until he 'fessed up. So who knows...

Fowl Play

2006-03-11T09:08:00.000-05:00

After all this time I've updated the animation short that I created my senior year of college. You can watch it below, or click on the following link. http://youtube.com/watch?v=73fQx2JxjqM

Eulogy

2006-03-05T20:13:00.000-05:00

I was trying to think of some thing to say for Nicoli, who passed away on Friday. My mom just sent me this today, and I think it says it expresses what I feel much better than something I made up. For Nicoli who is now with Duke...

Rainbow Bridge
http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html

Amazing photoshop....

2006-03-04T09:20:00.000-05:00

It's amazing what photoshop can do. We've all heard about the edits for media and entertainment. But I was still amazed what someone did with one of my photographs. There's a "fix my pic" group on Flickr, where people can can post photos they would like to have corrected or artistically interpreted. Here's the result for mine:

BEFORE

AFTER

posted by Clearly Ambiguous
Increased saturation by 40%
Increased contrast 50%
Decreased brighten 50%
Created a second layer and used a paint brush type filter.
Set opacity to 50% and merged to original layer
Clarify 1
added frame.

Keys to Your Heart

2006-03-02T17:28:00.000-05:00

I got this one from Daphnee...

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Cold..flu...sick again?

2006-02-24T12:07:00.000-05:00

I'm sick again, with the flu or cold or whatever. Anyway I'm wondering once again if anyone actually reads this....Jen said she did, I know Ryan does. Kenny might pass by once in a while... Anyway put down a comment if you're reading this....or if you're shy e-mail me....

Men's fashion changing??

2006-01-27T10:22:00.000-05:00

OK so I don't really pay attention to men's fashion. But in all honesty, I thought the biggest change for men's fashion was the tie and hair. But I am now watching "what not to wear" and found out that pleats are no longer fashionable for men's pants. I knew that this went out of fashion for women years ago, but I didn't know it happenned for men too....where have I been? I need to check out guys at work to see who is still fashionable. The second thing I realized is that sloooow shoppers, really get on my nerves. I'm watching this guy, who has $5,000 to spend in an afternoon, and he's bought 2 items in 2 hours. If it was me the $5,000 would have been gone already.

This is for all you employees...

2006-01-23T09:23:00.000-05:00

Too true...listen to the honest boss.

If you haven't heard...

2006-01-23T08:40:00.000-05:00

Here's the link for my new photo blog...www.flickr.com/photos/cyshas

Where now?

2006-01-22T21:54:00.000-05:00

I once asked someone, “Would you rather live in a place you hated, but with a job you loved or with a job you loved, but in a place you hated?” At the time my answer, without hesitation, was a place I loved, but with a job you hated. My reasoning was that work isn’t my life and, if worst came to worst, I could always find a new one. However, now I am facing a different question: Would you rather have a job you liked now with no real future, or a job you don’t like now, but knew you would have a better future? Of course this is a grey question with many variables, but this is what it comes down to. Which do I care about more my present or my future. I should say my future. Nothing is set in stone of course, we’re only taking within 5 years, and I have been trying to plan for it, depending on what occurs. I plan to start my MBA in one to one and a half years, depending on whether I am accepted into a full time vs part time program. The MBA is a huge factor, which affects work/life balance, living location, and an entire set of variables in my future. The job I take now will certainly affect my work/life balance. Also if I can’t decide where I want to go in a company now, how am I going to decide what I want out of my MBA. Of course I want to develop a solid general background in business, so I can stop taking jobs just for the “learning experience.” In addition, I still want to stay within the corporate finance/accounting roles. But where do I go specifically? I don’t know which job I would ideally want, because in all honesty I’d rather sit on my butt doing nothing than to actually work. But that’s not going to happen until retirement, so I better decide soon what I want to do when I grow up.

About myself

2005-12-28T23:52:00.000-05:00

Out of a fit of curiosity, I decided to goggle myself by my actual name. (Apparently someone has done this before and I was wondering what he might have found.) Some things were expected, ie my resume which is linked to my old homepage and it is good to know that I was indeed added to the official CFM and CMA lists. But some of this was shocking; it’s like an autobiographic history lesson. Apparently, sometime in my past, I had signed a petition for a mixed Asian action channel. I don’t even have any desire to subscribe to the anime channel through my cable provider. However I definitely made my name in the anime world back in the day. Also evidently, I was featured in a couple ASU publications. I don’t remember any of these articles existing. I don’t even remember the photo being taken for one of the articles. And I forgot to take down some inventory that I had put up for sale on half.com over a year ago. But luckily I’m not as popular as some of you out there, who are making names for yourselves. And as far as I can tell, none of those photos that I posted, when the internet just started, ended up as porn as my mom was initially afraid of. Now that I think about it, what happened to those high school photos with my face censored out by the talented Nick K.? Ah well, I guess some things were lost out there.

Contemplations

2005-12-26T20:03:00.000-05:00

Where are you?
Where are you going?

Are you happy?
Is happiness all that matters?

If only you knew, what would you do?
What could you do?

Do you know me?
As I know you?

Can you see me?
What do you see?

If you believed, what would change?
Could you change?

Does it exist?
Why does it exist?

Can you imagine?
Beyond reality?

Do you have faith?
Do you know the truth?

Where is life going?
Where has it gone?

Thoughts

2005-12-25T15:36:00.000-05:00

I am battling pre-legal-dependency urges as I step back into my parents’ home. I see their bulk filled pantry, courtesy of Costco, and think: wow look at all that food, maybe I could take a couple bowls of instant sesame noodles and a six pack of drinks back with me. They have also stocked up on a boatful of toiletries that could be useful in my home. There are only two things stopping me. One, I don’t feel like carrying a heavy suitcase full of groceries. Two, I realized I’m not in college anymore. It’s interesting to see how I tend to fall back into old habits when I return home back to phoenix. Afternoon naps, lying around watching marathons of anime, and relying on my parents to take care of me. I guess this is called being lazy in general.

However, I do feel more obligated to contribute to the household. I am trying to be more considerate and make an effort to contribute to household chores. In the past, my parents had to constantly remind me to clean counter tops after I made a mess cooking or even to do my own dishes, so I have matured in small ways. They are still rejecting my immaterial monetary contributions to their livelihood. Instead of being able to help with the two mortgages and series of remodeling expenses, I will be providing small impractical presents that they will hopefully enjoy. ^_^ Yet since my parents retired and are more financially limited than they were in the past, I wonder when do I grow up and truly help take care of them.

The Gift Plan

2005-12-12T17:46:00.000-05:00

After a prolific amount of autumn birthdays, I have now found myself in the midst of Christmas. Inspired by the holiday decorations around the house, the bell merrily jingling on the dog’s collar, and the abundant advertisements sent via mail, TV and internet, I was re-energized for gift giving. Running to the mall and Christmas fairs almost every weekend, searching the net and e-bay, I got a multitude of presents that I tried to put some thought into. [To the people who are now receiving checks from me, it’s not because I didn’t want to put thought into it, quite frankly either you need the money to pay rent or you want stuff I could never afford.] However during the sales and Christmas cheer, my idea of a $10 per present budget quickly flew into the void. I saw my credit card bills and realized that my budget did not quite recover from the continuous birthdays throughout October and November. I also just realized that there are more birthdays come February and March. Which means two things…one, some of you might be only getting lunch or drinks on me when I see you over my vacation and two, I need to come up with a plan for next year. Here are some ideas:

1) Have some sort of pot-luck/gift swap party, so we only need to get one gift for everyone at the party, even if it includes non-mutual friends. (This one we had discarded this year due to the complexity of the arrangements, but I might suffer through it next year.)

2) Give everyone a “Andrea lottery ticket” meaning you get a raffle ticket from me and the lucky friend gets $100, which by the way the odds are better than a real lottery ticket.

3) Get everyone a real lottery ticket for $2, along with a candy cane as a consolation prize.

4) Realizing that all the ideas above don’t really put much individual thought into the presents, I could also do a budgetary x-mas plan. Meaning, I list all my friends out and give 2-3 present each month telling them not to open until x-mas. In this way, I can eliminate excess storage and be able to streamline my expenses over the year. I can also proportionally budget slightly more presents in the beginning of the year, in case new unexpected friends or other types of obligation giftees arise during the period or to overcome lumps in the budgets due to excess birthdays. Or even better, if I arrange to give the x-mas gift in cohesion with birthdays, I will probably be able to reduce gift expenses by at least 25-50%.

5) Suck it up, try to earn more money or keep eating ramen, and all will be good.

Ultimate Internet Quiz from Ryan and co.

2005-11-18T12:31:00.000-05:00

Apparently Ryan and his friends made up this ultimate internet quiz last year, and I've been challenged to answer 1/3 of it. So here you go....

What was your best year? Why?

It was probably 2000, because I had great friends, spent the summer in Europe, and had a bunch of great jobs: running research expos and anime store. Plus I was pres of the anime club, so I was the ultimate ruler, before I got burned out.

If you had to throw someone off a building, who would it be? Who would this person land on?

Well I wouldn’t deliberately want to hurt someone, so I was throw a corpse over, and if it hits someone like, a certain CFO who makes life much too interesting, then it’s not my fault.

What is the longest you've maintained a close-friend relationship? With whom?

Vivian’s been my friend since 3rd grade. ^_^

Name one thing you wish you'd done differently.

I think I shouldn’t have told that guy I hated his guts in 4th grade, when his friends where teasing me about how he liked me. *_*

What one sin should be taken off the list of Seven Deadly Sins? What should be added?

Gluttony, I don’t see anything wrong with eating a lot, plus greed is already on there so it’s a little redundant. They should add deceit, not sure if it wasn’t added since it was covered in the 10 commandments though

The moment in your life you'd most like to re-experience.

I once had this dream (actually dream while sleeping) that I was living in this gorgeous beach house/condo with three cute guys. I woke up and they were cooking me breakfast, going to do my laundry, and willing to drive me around. That would be nice. In reality, I think I’m always looking forward to new experiences with great friends, but even if you try to do something again it’s never the same as the first time.

You can spend a week anywhere/anytime in history. Where do you go?

I wish I could go back to a time that would help someone: ie go back to the week of sept 11, and tell someone about the bombs on the planes. But I tend to believe in predestination that if something was going to happen then it would, and you can’t change history. And I’m not that enamored of history, to want to see something bad. So maybe it would have been fun to spend a week in China on a river tour last fall.

8) What movies/books/TV shows did you act out as a kid?

I used to sing Disney songs a lot…does that count?

What behavior do you find morally objectionable (or too risky to try), but extremely tempting?

Hmmm…skinny dipping. Too risky to try, the water would be freezing.

Which song lyrics capture you or an event in your life most clearly?

So I only listen to lyrics of songs when I’m moody and depressed or in musicals. When I broke up with my ex, I could probably identify with 20 break-up songs esp Don’t want think about you from Simple Plan. But I really like Crazy by Simple Plan, because I think it’s really true and I feel the same way.

Your most representative childhood comment/anecdote/mindset:

Happily ever after. I believed in fairy tales.

"Might have been the losing side. Doesn't mean it was the wrong one." When has that applied to you?

Sure, but who determines who “won”?

Favorite word or phrase in a foreign language

“suki” is the verb, like, in Japanese. It’s cool to say and it’s only one syllable

What food would you cry about having eliminated from your diet?

Mangos….I don’t get those often enough.

What is the BEST smell, and what does it mean to you?

Vanilla…..yummy very relaxing.

Name five [non-physical] qualities that draw you to a person

Confidence, intelligence, easy going humor, generosity, honesty

17) And five [non-physical] things about someone that turn you off. [No points off for pettiness.]

Snoring, negativity, uselessness (or people who never help out), boring conversationalists, cheapskates

If you could eliminate three things from your life, what would they be?

Driving, freezing weather, weekend workdays

What would you want to be reincarnated as?

Cat- spoiled cat - with a nice owner with enough money to pamper me.

Build your dream house. Now describe it.

On a private beach that allows dogs. Small and comfortable with two levels lots of windows, and a stream in the back with a small, wooden bridge running over it. High speed internet, good cell phone signal, a full sized laundry, excellent plumbing/electricity, jacuzzi would be nice, and within 10 min drive to a grocery store, movie theater, bakery, and a few really good, preferably cheap, asian and french restaurants.

It's two hundred years in the future, and your name is still remembered. What for?

The great-great-great…grandmother who won the lottery and built the family fortune.

You're casting it all aside and running away. You've got nothing but the money you have/can take from the bank now. Where do you go?

I’d go live in bay area California. And after all my money ran out I’d hang out with my parents or whoever can give me free rent for a while. *_*

Give yourself a nickname (e.g., Becky "Barracuda" Cooper)

I like barracuda. But hmmm…Andrea Banana?? *_*

Everyday person who's had an effect on your life that they'd be surprised to hear about:

Nomi, I like how she can make people feel good, even when she’s tell them bad news. I try to go that too. *_* not sure if it’s working.

Pick one fictional character each to do, dump, and marry.

To do: Rejar from Rejar by Dara Joy,
To dump: Anakin from Star Wars
To marry: Prince Hall from the Unhandsome Prince by John Moore….but maybe when he’s a bit older, or Jeffrey, his older brother. They’re nice and sweet.

The Horror (part 2)

2005-11-04T22:19:00.000-05:00

Smokey doesn't even need a costume for halloween.

click here, if you don't see the photo

The Horror

2005-11-02T11:36:00.000-05:00

The cool autumn air brushed over us as we hurried from the trendy sushi place on the lower east side. It was the night before Halloween, and tonight we were going to Nightmare, “the scariest haunted house in Manhattan.” Tickets were sold out, but there was still a long line outside the door for people who had booked reservations several days in advance. The only decorations on the walls of cultural center were fliers for other Halloween parties and events around the city. Not much had gone into thematically enriching the outside, or the inside, as we were soon to discover. The lobby looked like it belonged to a cross of a theme park ride and a cheap night club. There was a ticket booth, and two big screens showing gruesome horror film clips that covered movies, student films, and even a Michael Jackson video. Hidden behind black curtains was a bar lounge with zebra striped chairs and a Heineken neon sign. If you were in line, waiters would bring orders while you were waiting. The staff wore black clothing complete with headsets and trendy club music played in the background. Then we approached the doorway. Covered by heavy black curtains, I shoved my boyfriend in front of me and grabbed his hand as we went into the darkness. Our group was led into a dimly lit room, behind a man sitting in front of a ventilation fan. The man moaned and slowly reached towards the fan, and we all knew what was going to happen next. The lights cut out just before his hand touched the blade, and we felt blood splash across our face. Screams pierced the air, and it was the beginning of the thirteen rooms of horror we were to endure. But it was all fun and we left laughing in the end. I love haunted houses. I can’t wait ‘till next Halloween.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

2005-09-19T16:51:00.000-04:00

I work in an area nicknamed named “the fishbowl.” Our room of cubicles is encased by almost floor to ceiling windows looking into a hallway, which has more windows extending to the outside. So anyone wandering the hallways can look in at us, walking around, darting into cubes, and staring back out at them, wondering when we’ll see freedom.

Today I was standing staring avidly out one of the windows. My co-workers passed me by and asked what I’m doing lurking outside my cube. To which I replied, “There’s an animal out there, and I can’t figure out what it is. I think it might be a beaver, but don’t beavers live near water?” The furry brown animal was sitting in a huge lawn of grass. Then she looked out too, and she noted, “It looks like a rabbit, except for the tail.” I agreed, “It doesn’t have the ears for a rabbit too.” She guessed, “I think it’s a squirrel.” “That’s a pretty huge squirrel,” I repsonded. Can they get that big, I wondered, thinking of some of the French river rats I had seen, which were admittedly the size of a beaver. Then finally some wandering business man called out “It’s a woodchuck” as he passed by. I was amazed, “Wow, a woodchuck, I’ve never seen one before. Is that what one looks like?” We stared at it for a while. Then my co-worker spoke, “I’ve never seen a woodchuck either, you think he said chipmunk.” I was thinking it’s still too big for a chipmunk, and we needed to stop augmenting small rodents to justify the appearance of this new creature. So enough wasting our precious work time, I went back to my comp to check it out online. It was a woodchuck, aka groundhog. For those of you who have never seen one either, here’s a photo. Another one of my great NY experiences.

How much do you care?

2005-09-07T15:27:00.000-04:00

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, many of us are being affected by the barrage of new stories and higher gas prices. However, as we are not actually there, there is no way to truly understand what it feels like. Empathy alone seems to me inconsequential compared to what actually is going on. We can only imagine the pain of loosing your home and loved ones, and be grateful that it is not us and pray for those who are still suffering.

I just heard the stories about people being forced to abandon their pets in order to get a seat on a transport or bus. I think if it was me, this would be the last issue to tip me over. It’s one thing to loose everything that you have, but then to have to give up something willingly would be completely agonizing. I don’t know if I could leave my dog behind on the street while I got on a bus and drove away. But in the end if you’re being evacuated, it won’t be optional. At least, there are several rescues working on bringing pets to shelters, where they might one day be reunited with their owners in the future or be adopted with a new family. This natural disaster reminds me of old war movies of people who were displaced from their homes and separated from each other only to hopefully be reunited after the tragedy is over.

If you’re interested in helping out pet rescues follow this link.

Version 7

2005-08-25T18:06:00.000-04:00

Lotus Notes version 7 is coming out. What is Lotus Notes, you ask? It’s IBM’s software competing with Microsoft’s outlook application. There’s whole set ofother products competing with office, but that’s another topic I’ll never go into. The Lotus development group (recently re-name WPLC) decided to give us IBMers a 30 minute promotional presentation on the new version, to be released internally in the beginning of 2006. We were incented by free ice cream… and toppings that were to be given out after the presentation. Not only that, but the person who writes the best article about the coolest new feature on Lotus v7 will win an ipod.

It was amazing how hyped up office workers can get. The first feature introduced was developed to manage overload of e-mail… Do you ever come back from two days of vacation, sit down at your desk, and see 100 new e-mail messages waiting to be answered? Well, now Lotus Notes v7 can help you manage that. This new application will mark messages based on whether you’re in the TO line, one of several recipients on the TO line, or even better if you’re in the CC line. “Ooooooooh” goes the audience. Yes, even I was pulled into the magnetism of the new Lotus Notes Application.

There’s definitely some great new features, lots of oohs and aah, and even applauds. But then I thought about it later. In order not to be on low priority and to get an answer, I need to remember to put the person alone in the TO line and possibly send multiple e-mails if I have questions for several people on the same subject. I’m sure everyone else will figure it out. I wonder how many people will abuse the work arounds. Ah well, the ice cream was good, I had strawberry with marshmallows and nuts. It was a fun presentation.

Love Voodoo

2005-08-20T22:31:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine recently gave me a love voodoo doll kit. At first, I was slightly disappointed it wasn’t a regular voodoo doll, which I could definitely use in my free time. But I’m dating again, so I’m sure this one could definitely come into use. It covers spells from breaking up couples so you can get your guy to dealing with bra straps. Most of the spells are pretty generic ie. if you want to be more articulate, put the doll between a dictionary and thesaurus. But some spells are way out there, ie if you want to get the guy to pick up the check you need to attach a picture of Czech leader Vaclav Havel to the hand of the doll. Now I have no clue who this guy is or what that has to do with paying a bill, but let me know if you do. But the best part is that the book is hilarious. Even for the most superstitious person, you can tell straight off that it’s just fun and games. The author “Voodoo Lou” makes you smile with his sardonic logic. So if you’re looking for a no brainer, and want to poke holes into something you should pick up this kit.

The infinite search

2005-08-08T21:38:00.000-04:00

Trying to find an affordable place to live in NY with a dog is like trying to find an affordable place to live in LA when you’re a full-time unknown actor. You can be responsible, considerate, clean, but once you mention that one seemingly trite liability, the rental agents don’t call, the landlords hang up, and you get rejected right and left. I even got a solicitation on roommates.com from a lesbian couple, but was unwanted once they found out about my dog. Then you start thinking of settling. Looking farther away so it takes 45 minutes ….50 minutes….or even a little over an hour to get to work. Or thinking, you really don’t need to be close to a laundry, it’s a luxury item if you think about it. Or maybe the place you’re at is just fine, even though you can’t use more than two appliances in the kitchen without blowing a fuse; the stove is missing; and there’s annual floods and periodic rusty brown water. After all, it has a pretty view and a washer/dryer. Well, let’s hope something good happens. Maybe someone will get evicted from the one pet friendly apartment in White Plains. Or I receive an inheritance from a long lost relative, so I can just buy a place. Well you never know miracles can happen.

Small dog personality

2005-07-29T01:46:00.000-04:00

It's been confirmed again. This time from tickle.com, I have a small dog personality. *_*

You're a Yorkshire Terrier!

No bones about it, you're a social, bustling Yorkshire Terrier. Active and enthusiastic, Yorkies like you have a ton of energy — which means you're probably always running around like a mad dog. You're never without a project to work on, an errand to run, or a party to catch. (Where do you find the time?) You're a chatty little pup, too — talking is one of your favorite pastimes. That's why all your friends and acquaintances see you as their own personal Entertainment Tonight and rely on you for the latest gossip and social bulletins. You always liven up a dinner party or cocktail gathering, and people simply adore your affectionate nature and get-up-and-go eagerness. Woof!

Free Cell Phone! (only w/ the activation of a new contract)

2005-07-22T09:07:00.000-04:00

I have fallen into the craze and am going to get the new “Special Edition” Black Razr v3 phone. Since I found out that Cingular actually has decent signal in my area, I decided to switch providers. And I've been dying for a bluetooth phone. So how am I going to afford this phone, which Cingular now offers for $200? Yes it is more affordable than the price in December, when the silver version was just released. Yet I’m still on a budget. So I need to find a deal right? Not so easy…. I figured I’d pass on what I discovered, in case it might be useful to someone.

I realized that most of the on-line sites offering free Razr phones are actually supported by a company call Inphonic, ie intelenetwireless.com, wirefly.com, buy.com, A1wireless.com, etc. On some of these sites, you’ll notice that the company address and phone numbers are the same. There are steady complaints from the customers in regards to difficulties receiving their rebates or fixing problems with new phones. Also if you want to keep your phone number, sometimes they’ll port it before your phone is shipped, so you won’t have a phone for a few days. The good points about these companies? Well the phones almost always come unlocked and are extremely cheap, sometimes you can even earn money. There were some satisfied customers, I've had friends who used the sites and never had problems with the phone or rebates. But they were "earning" money and initally spent a lower amount so had lower risk.
(Side note: if you ever want to see some of the most pessimistic ratings/reviews for on-line stores reviews, go to resellerratings.com. More positive ratings/review can be found at bizrate.com.)

Amazon.com has better reviews and will still offer the phone for free. In general, customers are satisfied with the customer service, and they have a reputation to maintain so they won’t scam you on the rebate. I heard that they're pretty good with replacing/fixing malfunctioning equipment, and they'll pay for return shipping. The bad thing is they can’t port your old phone number to a Cingular phone. They're OK with other providers though.

For Best Buy, the on-line deals are much better than the store deals. I understand though, that you can order a phone on-line and pick it up in-store if it's in stock. It sounded odd, so I’d probably want to double check that one. But the phone isn't free. The black Razr v3 phone is offered for $150 in store, and $90 on-line. I heard you shouldn’t go for their extended warranty, since their service isn’t that great. But again they're pretty reliable in that they'll try to fix any of your problem and they won't try to scam you on the rebate.

The Chinatown option was suggested to me by friends. Many people know that Chinatown usually has some awesome deals for cell phones. In addition, you can bargain for free accessories, they can unlock it for you, and when paying cash you can avoid taxes. These guys usually know what they’re doing. You can get the phone immediately and they’ll port it for you. But Chinatown isn’t the most reputable place to receive a phone. If you walk into the wrong store you might be getting a bootleg version. I'm not sure if just going to “authorized dealers” will solve the problem. Also you might have some difficulties in getting problematic phones fixed or your rebate back, if the store manager wants to be difficult. But if you have no problems after the fact, you’re set. I've had friends who bought phone there with no problems as well. I also heard that if you really have issues with the phone, you can try going directly to the manufacture (in this case Motorola) and they'll help you there.

Btw if you’re wondering how these guys can afford to offer free phones, there is an unconfirmed rumor that the dealers tend to get extremely good commissions (over $200) for each new account they activate. Plus, you get locked into a 2 year contract with these deals. I guess another condition for the dealer is that the s/he has to show proof that you are a good customer and fully paying off your bills, because most rebates you need to show a fully paid bill after 6 months. Amazon allows you to send in a statement showing your bill is fully paid after one month, but they have in fine print: if you default on any of the bill in the next 6 months, they can charge your credit card for the rebate amount.

So what am I going to do? I’m going to try for Amazon, and just give up my phone number. If I really wanted someone to get in contact with me, then I probably gave them my e-mail too. But don’t worry if I still like you and remember you exist, you’ll probably get a message from me with my new phone number in a couple weeks.

Asexuality

2005-06-24T10:58:00.000-04:00

I have decided to become asexual...at least for the short term. I really do hate dating. I mean relationships are great, but trying to get that point stinks. I won't go into the latest and greatest experiences now, but ugh why me? My friends asked me why I don't become a lesbian instead. I reply that I think dating girls was just as bad as dating boys. I know both genders have their issues. Plus I'm not attracted to girls. Not to say that I have an overwhelming lust for men right now either. Hence, asexuality. Right now, the thought of trying to get romantically invovled with anything is so unappealing, that studying is starting to look good. So for the next month, I'll be throwing myself into studying for the next certification exam and hanging out with platonic friends. Maybe by the time I pass the next exam, I'll rebound and jump back into the dating scene. Maybe...

Loss

2005-05-23T23:24:00.000-04:00

I wish that life was easier in some ways. Or I guess I wish relationships were easier. It seems that all around me, people are breaking up: friends, lovers, family. What is worse: when someone leaves you because of death, and you know you’ll never see them again, or when someone leaves you because they no longer want to be with you, but you know they are well and one day you may see them again? I think there are worse things than death. I think it hurts less if you know someone has to leave you, opposed to knowing that they no longer want you. On the other hand, it is a small comfort that you could see someone you care about again, even if you know that it’s highly unlikely or that it would be better to never see that person again.

I wish that people could just be satisfied with those that care about them and who are currently with them. But there is something perverse in human nature that makes us want something we cannot have. I wonder why we miss and care so much for those who are so wrong for us or who can no longer be with us. Maybe my friends and I are just too young and restless. In the end, I know we’ll all be fine. But in the meantime, I wish we could stop yearning for those who are no longer with us, and just be happy.

The Sexy Voice

2005-05-17T17:56:00.000-04:00

I was listening to the radio on the drive home, and this girl with a really sexy voice came on. She made me think of luscious lips, long hair, big eyes, and full firm breasts. I was thinking, “wow I wish I had a voice like that.” But then the DJ mentioned she was waif-like. OK there went my voluptuous image, but she still sounded sexy. And she was still pretty from the way the DJ was reacting to her.

I really don’t think I’ve ever noticed such an incredibly sexy voice before. I mean maybe I’ve heard some on TV, but I tend to be distracted by the visual images and don’t notice the audio effects as much. And I don't plan on calling 1-900 numbers trying to find one.

Anyway, it’s amazing sometimes…the expectations people have based on the way others sound. There was this one woman at work who we all expected, from her phone voice, to be young, blond, and thin. When we all saw her photo, we were like “woooah….” Yeah, in other words, speechless. She was older, heavy boned, with really short brown hair. But she still had a cool, cheerful phone voice.

I think a great talking voice is awesome, because it really makes people want to listen. Unfortunately it's something you’d need to be born with. As it is, I think my voice is child-like and is only good for an impersonation of Aqua singing Barbie Girl. Ah well….that’s life.

5/18 - P.S. I just got a phone call and the woman asked to talk to my 'mommy." Great.

Movie Jitters

2005-05-12T22:16:00.000-04:00

Everyone has told me that going to a movie on a first date is not a good idea. The reason was because you’ll be wasting 2 hours staring silently at a screen and not getting to know each other. And never in my life, have I ever thought there could be anything illicit about going out for a dinner and a movie.

However about a month ago, I had a bad date, where Mr. Wandering Hands took me to see a movie. Now when a guy suggests a movie during the first date, my gut reaction is to say, “Yeah, why don’t we get to know each other first before we see a movie together.” Of course I don’t say that out loud and sound freakishly prudish. I mean movie theaters are supposed to be places of normality, where things are R-rated at most. It’s not like the guy asked me if I wanted to watch porn…

I wonder if the real reason for not going to movies on a first date is because you don’t know the person, and you really don’t want to be forced to endure 2 hours being near a person who you don’t like. Well even if it’s not the real reason, it certainly has become mine. Now for me it’s like “Good girls don’t kiss (or go to movies) on first dates.” I must admit though, paranoia really isn’t a good trait to develop….

Dirty Shots

2005-05-09T21:28:00.000-04:00

I don’t know why but the only girly shots that I know of are full of sexual innuendo. I’m not really into hard liquor like vodka, so I always need something with irish cream, frangelico, or kalua. But I just realized how bad the conversation sounds when I bring one up. For example...

Bartender: So what can I get you?
Me: Can I have an Orgasm?
Bartender: *smiles* Give me some time and I can give you one.
Me: *confused* you do know what goes into an Orgasm right?
Bartender: Actually I don’t.
Me: I wish I could tell you, people just give them to me. Something with Irish Cream?
Bartender: I really don’t know.
Me: Maybe it’s a NY thing. My ex didn’t know what an Orgasm was either….

Or what about, just a conversation with a friend about a Blow Job.

[I didn’t learn about these until this past year, so in case you don’t know...It’s a shot of Irish cream with whip cream piled up on it. To drink it, you put you hands behind your back and pick up the shot glass up with your mouth and chug it.]

Me: You know I just saw a girl do a Blow Job. I’ve never seen it done before.
Friend: I’ve done them before.
Me: Really? I think it would be rather difficult. I mean how do you fit your mouth around the glass?
Friend: Just open your mouth wide enough.
Me: Wouldn’t you choke trying to swallow? I mean that’s an awful lot of liquid coming down your throat.
Friend: You just have to learn to hold your throat open.

….I still haven’t tried a blow job, so I have no clue what “holding your throat open” means. I guess these really are girly drinks. I can’t imagine a guy trying order these, unless it was on the behalf of a girl. Plus when I ask for orgasms from girl bartenders, they know exactly what I want and I never have any problems getting one.

Oh! Canada...

2005-05-04T12:23:00.000-04:00

So the original plan was to go clubbing all night in Toronto and right after drive 10 hours back to NYC. Thank god it didn’t happen and we just stayed in a hotel during the night. I mean yes I did write a lot of good-bye letter and good-bye phone calls before I left on this Toronto road trip, but it doesn’t mean I want to die. ...

A couple weeks ago, I went with some friends on this Toronto road trip. It was awesome we stopped one night in Niagara Falls and two nights in Toronto. Plus my concerns about the longevity of my life was assuaged at the beginning of the trip, when it was decided we should just stay an extra night in the hotel. If you ever get the chance to go to Niagara Falls, you have to stay for night time, when the falls are lit up. I could stare at it forever, it's really beautiful. Also there are always the shows, buffets, and the casino, where I promptly lost my $5 in slots. In Toronto, it was raining, so we resorted to the indoor shopping and eating excursions. I actually was able to see most of my family in Toronto. We made a brief detour so I could pick up a gift from my aunt. Apparently one of my cousins was having a B-day party, and all my other aunts, except one, were recruited into supervising. The house was like a scene out of “Cheaper by the Dozen.” There were only 10 kids there, but it seemed like thirty. They were all running around the house yelling. I was pretty dazed. We didn’t make it past the foyer, as I tried to stay out of the way of speeding objects. I think my friends were afraid we’d had to go in and sit down and talk, in the middle of the chaos, but I made my excuses and we left after the perfunctory greetings and small talk. It’s hard to remember what a big family I have, since I was raised pretty far away from them.

The road trip was fun, lot of joking around, and boy vs girl arguments. I would love to do another road trip, just maybe someplace closer next time.

On Ice

2005-03-26T13:15:00.000-05:00

I just found the hotspot of Westchester teens. Friday night, I decided to stop by the rink to practice ice skating. Since high school, I have never seen so many teens together in one spot, except at the premier of American Pie 2. Left and right energetic girls and boys skating at high or shaky speeds, while guzzling cans of Red Bull. Times have really changed. When I was a teen, I don’t remember my friends and I ever saying “let's go skate” ever. And Red Bull? I tasted it once, and it made me gag. Well there was only so much time I could stand being in the midst of mounds and mounds of young screaming adolescents. So I quit after an hour and went up to skybox to grab a drink and check out the other rink.

Fortunately the adult hockey league was just starting a game. I’ve actually been interested in checking out a hockey game since I started skating. This was my first and it was awesome. Apparently the goalie of one of the teams was in a car accident, so they had to play the entire first period without a goalie. Everyone in the audience was thinking you’ve got to kidding. But the team was good, and there quite a few saves by defenseman 18. The first period ended 0-2. By this time I really going for the underdog team. Luckily for them, early in the second period, the other team got a 2 min penalty. Before the penalty was over, I guess someone had found a substitute goalie. Maybe they called in someone’s kid brother or pulled one off the public session, because either it was the smallest man I’ve seen or he was only a kid. But he was pretty good too, so by the end of the second period they were tied 3-3. The game ended 4-5, the underdogs lost, but it was cool game to watch. I do like live sports. I should watch more often. Plus hockey guys are kinda hot.

Writer’s Block

2005-03-23T21:40:00.000-05:00

Ugh writer’s block. This is exactly the reason I decided not to go into anything creative. Well I promised I’d write something each month. It’s not that things don’t happen to me, I just seriously have nothing interesting to say. Give me another week, I’ll think of something. If you want, you can suggest a topic and I can creatively write about it. *_*

No druggies in NY?

2005-02-24T19:10:00.000-05:00

You know it’s amazing. I live in New York and read articles about NYC all the time and rarely is there ever a mention of drugs, unless you’re talking about some medical scandal. In New York news, you get lots of stories about murders: freak subway accidents, snow plows running you over, shootings, and so forth. Other typical news stories are about politics, snowstorms, schools, sports scandals, but nothing about drugs. I first noticed this oddity when I went back to Arizona and saw a anti-drug commercial. I actually had to ask a friend what meth labs were. I seriously never heard of them before, and I still haven’t out here or any other type of drugs. Does this mean that drugs aren’t an issue in NY? Or maybe New Yorkers really aren’t interested in articles about drug abuse, so it never makes the news. Who knows…

Passed!!

2005-02-23T21:46:00.000-05:00

I passed my exam...two more to go for the CMA/CFM certifications. Next exam is in May. But now I'm busy watching 2 series anime. *_* I'll write something soon.

Quizilla-mania

2005-02-06T12:39:00.000-05:00

As I sit here procrastinating studying for my exam, see all the cool new things I learned about myself.
brought to you by Quizilla

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??

What kind of dancer are you? (Girls only)

You are an Exotic Dancer. You are the sexy lady in
the group, you love to play with people's
minds, you never show your true intents to
anyone, you like to have a lot of friends so
you don't get bored and this goes the same with
men, you don't like the strict guy who gives
you orders like he owns you, nobody does, cuz
you were born free and nothing would change
that.

What kind of kiss are you?

You are a child's kiss. Completely sweet and
innocent and pure. You mean no harm and only
love in your sweet kisses.

What's Your Angel Seeking For?

The Truth

Your angel seeks for the truth.
Your angel is part of you. Thus, you are the
kind of person who values honesty more than
most things in this world. You are
strong-willed, and a bit stubborn at times. In
love, you seek for someone who will understand
you, and never cheat on you. This would
probably hurt you a lot, as it would to a lot
of people. But it would probably hurt you the
most. You are brutally honest, and you voice
your opinions a lot. Go you!

What Inuyasha Character are you?

Your Kagome! you like to hang out with your friends
and are always the first person to volunteer to
show a new student around, you are kind and
giving and enjoy having a occasional sleep-over
with the girls!

What breed are you?

2005-02-02T20:58:00.000-05:00

What Common Breed of Dog Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Slip and Slide

2005-01-25T22:22:00.000-05:00

Well I’ll never say again that nothing interesting ever happens to me. After moving to NY, within the last year, I had the whirlwind relationship, got ditched, the dog got skunked, my place flooded for a month, the dog ran off, I got stood up twice by my ex, and met my first stripper. But this tops it all.

Saturday this huge snowstorm blows over fifteen inches of snow into New York. But it stops, the roads were plowed, and I decide I was tired of being cooped up and had errands to run. So I take the car out. Fifteen minutes later, the car skids, does a 180, and slams the passenger side into the curb. It didn’t look good; so I do what any stereotypical girl does…I call a guy for help. In this case, the only guy I know in NY is my ex. So I’m on the phone describing the damage, “both hubcaps on the right side of the car are cracked and missing pieces. Do you think I can still drive? Oh wait! I think I hear air hissing out of the back wheel… Do know how to change a wheel…..yes please come out.”

Then I realize that I looked like complete s#!&. Excuse the censored language, but it’s the only way to truly describe me. I didn’t think I’d run into anyone I knew, so I was wearing old baggy clothes from discount stores, glasses, no make-up, hair in a rat nest bun. No one ever wants to look bad in front of their ex, but I never carry around anything to make me look better. So there was nothing I could do.

The ex shows up, and he thinks my car is OK to drive, after all he’ll be right behind me. Even though I’m skeptical, I get in the car and drive about two feet, before he starts honking at me. I get out and see the back wheel. It’s tilted inward, not even standing up straight. Ouch. Don't worry my life gets even better. While the ex is getting the jack out to check out the wheel, the channel 12 news van pulls up. They pull out a camera and want an interview. I ask for a make-up artist… Ok it’s bad enough to look like crap in front of your ex. It’s ten times worse to look like crap in front of public television. I didn’t get my make-up artist, but gave them the interview. I was too tired to protest. But I guess that’s what reporters do, offer no help, suck up your misery and broadcast it, so others who know you can laugh.

Yep the next day, my grinning second-line manager stops by my cube and says “So what happened? I saw you on TV yesterday. I see this car with the tire all bent, and then suddenly your face flashes up on the screen. It was the highlight of my day. What the were you doing driving anyway?” I was hoping I didn’t make the cut. *_*

Well after the news van left, I called roadside service and my auto insurance. I’ll be paying out a bit for the deductibles, but the car will get fixed. The rental I have is a Ford Escort, which rattles, so I’m driving much slower despite any weather conditions. The body shop called me today. Apparently I snapped the rear control arm, the suspension is shot, I’ll be getting two new tires, etc. Luckily I survived with out any major injuries and will just be going to chiropractor a few times. But hey that’s life. We’ll see how the rest of this year turns out.

Do you believe in Cupid?

2005-01-22T00:58:00.000-05:00

I am doubting that love truly exists. At least the romantic love, which all Americans hype up, where if you love someone enough, you’ll try to make it work and because you love them things do work out. The idea is that you’d rather be with them, than be alone and/or with someone else. You care enough about their feelings to compromise.

My friend, who just got married three months ago, can’t seem to have a conversation with her husband without arguing, even when they try not to. I’ve had two friends break off their engagements. Several parents of my friends and my own, argue a lot. A couple parents even got divorced, now that the kids are no longer there. I had my first “real” relationship within the past year, and now I’m really just friends with my ex, even though we still like each other.

I’ve seen relationship issues in the past. But that was in school and weren’t serious relationships…plus those relationships weren’t mine. I always thought that once we were past that phase of our lives, we would find someone who we would really love, get married, and live happily ever after….if we wound up with the right person.

I wonder if people are so individualistic that it in the long it never works out, and there really isn’t a "right" person. And that the only reason people stay together is because of some need that has nothing to do with love, like a desire for kids, financial support, cultural values, or the fear of being alone.

Am I starting to doubt something that exists but is just hard to find? Or am I just growing up and becoming more realistic about life?

Presents of Love?

2004-12-16T21:46:00.000-05:00

I was talking to a friend the other day about gifts. I wonder why is it someone spends so much on their girlfriends, and not as much on their regular friends and family. I found it a bit odd, because I would expect that your family and best friends would mean as much as your girlfriend. Is it some sort of cultural value? I mean who put themselves in debt by spending hundreds on jewelry and exotic trips. And in these cases it wasn’t the love of your life or your fiancé, it was just “the girlfriend at the time.” It’s a good thing the boy has savings. It is sweet, especially if you’re on the receiving end. Now I’ve never had a boyfriend during Christmas or my birthday. Yet I wonder if men expect receiving similar amounts of gifts. I think it would, quite frankly, suck for them if I gave them a $40 gift, when they spent hundreds on me.

I was reading Mars and Venus on a Date, a birthday present from a friend. It interestingly said that men like doing things for women, and that women should just graciously receive these gifts and never feel obligated to give anything back. In actuality, when a woman starts trying to do or give more “things” to the man, it makes the man less happy with the relationship. The man will become complacent with the way things are and less interested in putting any effort in the relationship. But on the hand, the more effort a man puts into doings things for women, the more interested he becomes, because he knows that he can make the woman happy. Well it was interesting to think about.

Btw some good advice for men was: whenever you do something a woman feels is wrong… let her vent it out, apologize to her and say you were a dick* for doing or not doing whatever it was. It doesn’t feel good when a woman tells you everything that’s wrong with you, but if you don’t let her get it out then she’s liable make your life hell for weeks.

Well enjoy the holidays.

* You can replace this word with “nadjectives,” there was a whole list in the book, such as inconsiderate, overactive, insensitive, selfish, defensive. These are key words that will calm a girl down.

Chinese Thanksgiving

2004-11-30T23:43:00.000-05:00

Chinese people love to eat. That’s all I can say. My brother and I went to Toronto for Thanksgiving week to visit our aunts, uncles, great aunt, great uncle, and assorted friends of the family….like most Chinese families, ours is pretty large. The first day, or actually first meal(lunch) we were ecstatic to see well made Chinese food. So we gorged ourselves, not realizing that we had only 5 hours to recover before have to gorge again for dinner. And this was day one, only the beginning. Imagine, having your stereotypical thanksgiving dinner nonstop for a week. Yes I gained weight, fortunately I’m scrawny from eating my own cooking, so I actually look better from eating so much.

But other than eating I did get to see Niagara falls, the lighting of the Toronto x-mas tree, and two musicals (Hairspray and Mamma Mia). I love both the musicals, and am planning on picking up the ABBA cd. I’m sure it’ll fit in well with my collection of Linkin Park, Avril Lavigne, and Yellowcard. But it’s always nice to have variety.

Now it’s time for Christmas and present shopping. I really do love this season.

Wedding bliss

2004-11-16T21:29:00.000-05:00

As I promised here’s my monthly update. I guess I’m at that age where change is inevitable. My friends are getting married, and we’re all wondering where life will lead us. Most of my friends are stilling trying to find their careers….myself included. Good luck to us all, but we’re all smart and I’m sure we’ll turn out well. We’re all in different stages of relationships, between relationships, or still lingering after that last one. ..which is why it’s so nice to know some of us work out.

I just had a friend get married, and it was the most awesome wedding in Tahoe. I won’t bore you with all the details and drama of people you don’t know, but girls if you ever get invited to a bachorlette’s night, don’t miss out. I am definitely getting a stripper for mine, whenever I get married. It’s too much fun and educational to miss. ^_~ I definitely made some great friends that weekend…no not the stripper….people in the wedding party.

My best friend is getting married next summer. I love weddings and was pushing her to get married forever. But then I realized the wedding is in Taiwan and totally in mandarin. Meaning I am not going to understand one word of the entire wedding ceremony or reception. So if you guys know any cute, intelligent, non-flakey guys that can act as a date, translator, and pay his own way to Taipei, let me know. Anyway I think she’s going to hold some sort of after wedding party in LA for us poor English speakers. I can’t wait.

Which Mythological Form Are You?

2004-10-20T19:55:00.000-04:00

You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.

"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life.
She cried a single tear and shed a single drop
of blood upon the earth where she buried it.
From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into
the world."

Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek),
Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian).
The Goddess is associated with the concept of
creation, the number 1, and the element of
earth.
Her sign is the dawn sun.

As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic
individual and people are drawn to you.
Although sometimes you may seem emotionally
distant, you are deeply in tune with other
people's feelings and have tremendous empathy.
Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your
own self. Goddesses are the best friends to
have because they're always willing to help.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

MIA

2004-10-05T21:41:00.000-04:00

Yes I know I haven’t updated in a while. I've been out and about. A lot has been happening in terms of friends coming to visit, trips, and work. I'll be busy with these types of activities throughout the rest of the year, so I'm a little too tired to think of something witty to say.

But in the meantime, I've been really trying to think about what I want to do with my life. I still need to pass two parts of the CMA exam (three parts if I want to get the CFM as well). After that, I'm not sure. There are definitely a lot of opportunities within my company, but I've been thinking of trying to get into the entertainment industry....either through a MBA degree or just moving to LA. Yet I'm not sure if I'm deluding myself in thinking the entertainment business industry will be more interesting than the tech industry for me. I mean I love animation and movies, but finance/accounting may just be the same everywhere. If that's the case, I should just stay with a good company that gives me three weeks of vacation. Even if I continue with this company, I miss the west. I've heard go things about San Jose and Denver, and I can look into finding a job to transfer to. Anyway I'll have to do some research and visit a few areas before I can make a decision...

P.S. For those of you who always ask that infamous question: How's your love life? Yeah....I've stopped dating again. I'm just not into it. I can't seem to meet anyone that I want to truly date, nevermind be just friends with. That's why, I'm suddenly so focused on my career again. *_*

Days in the sun

2004-08-31T19:02:00.000-04:00

South Beach Miami, pale sand, blue seas, and the hottest gays guys anywhere… definitely a great place for vacation. I haven’t seen so much flashy clothes full of flowers, ruffles, and glittering beads except on the show girls in Las Vegas. Lying in the sun on the beach. It was absolutely relaxing. Watching people pass by, wondering whether those people were straight or gay, those couples were just friends or dating, those breasts were fake or real. This was the life, no work, no worries; all I needed was a good massage and a drink. The first would have been difficult, the latter was out of my price range….selling at $15 a plastic cup. No one ever said a worry free life was cheap. But I did get my drink ($14 in a martini glass) at the Sky Bar lounge later that night. It was an awesome place I would recommend to anyone. One of the bars was closing down for a private party that night. With the MTV music awards the night after, we had to wonder if it was related. After avidly watching the doorway to see who got in and trying to see anyone famous, we finally found out it was just a vendor party for a magazine….well there went all the excitement. So we wandered outside where there were candle lit couches/beds around a swimming pool. It was beautiful, and a place you’d want to go with your boyfriend. Sorry girl friend, I know you got bored after a while too. Plus. I had that early flight that I had to wake up before dawn for. So we went back to the room and watched MTV and Fashion TV. I didn’t know male models were so young and skinny. Well after spending way too much money, I’m back in NY and life goes on.

Horoscopes of Love

2004-08-12T22:38:00.000-04:00

Ok before this becomes Andrea’s consumer guide, I’m going to get off of shopping topics. Sadly shopping seems to be one of the great hobbies of all NY women. It’s too irresistible, but moving on…

Lately I’ve been getting back my interest of supernatural stuff. I might be affected by the increase of in fantasy literature in my library versus the romance novels of the past. So lately I’ve been checking the horoscope compatibility of most of my friends' relationships. Some of them are shockingly true. I inherited, from my mom ,this book, Robin Macnaughton’s Sun Sign Personality Guide. It is accurate about some of the people I know. And assuming both people have the personality outlined in to the book, it would be easy to figure out what the general outcome of the situation will be. In general, all my friends currently happy with their situation seems to be “good” matches, ie virgo man/tarus woman or tarus man/cancer woman. While others….hmmm…well I won’t say anything to jinx them. Especially since I’m going to meet up with guy, who has the same sign as my ex…..actually they have more in common than that, so hopefully we’re not jinxed already. But really this stuff is all for fun, a book could never tell if the relationship is going to work out. But if you’re interested let me know, if you want me to look up your sign compatibility. Sorry no girl and girl or boy and boy compatibility guides in this one.

From cel phone to cel phone...

2004-08-06T20:37:00.000-04:00

I have decided that Upstate New York is one of the worst places for phone signal. I just switched my cel phone plan from AT&T to Verizon. After talking to multiple people and checking out all the phones that have passed with my friends through this area, I decided that Verizon was my best choice. I ended getting the same Motorola V60 phone, just because it was free I already have all the accessories for it. The good news is the signal seems better. I can move my head now when I talk, and I don’t have to say, “Can you hear me?” every two minutes. On the other hand my calls seem to drop eight minutes. Well this phone is an improvement, if not the best method of communication. Thank god for the internet.

Boycott J Crew Shoes

2004-07-30T20:27:00.000-04:00

Here is a warning to you all. DO NOT BUY J CREW SHOES. They might look cute and fashionable, but if you get them wet they don’t last. In NYC, I went out with a cute new pair of J Crew sandals while it was raining; and they literally fell apart. Like any good Asian shopper, I did check where they were made before I bought them...made in Italy. Yes I bought them from a J Crew store, so they weren’t bootlegs. Just so you don’t think I’m overreacting, my friend was also wearing a pair of J Crew shoes. They bled until the entire soles of her feet were black. Soap, water, and alcohol did not remove the dye, at most it lightened it. It’ll probably take several washings or paint thinner to get her feet clean. So just a warning for you all…. don’t buy J Crew shoes. They’re just not worth it.

Life in NY

2004-07-27T19:20:00.000-04:00

OK, due to the hinting of a certain friend, I am posting something. Actually I thought I would have more to post this week, because a few friends visited me this past weekend. We all know each other from NC. Two are still living in Raleigh and one in Tennessee. But other than experiencing NYC rush hour traffic and other odd transportation issues (cancelled trains, missing subway stops because we were distracted) there isn’t really an exciting event I could post about. We did all the tourist stuff: central park, the met, Chinatown, Statue of Liberty, Little Italy, clubbing, dining, etc. (I was surprised that they were body searching people at the dance club).

What is interesting is how much you pick up from your friends. I didn’t notice it that much until my Tennessee friend pointed it out. For example, Joanna, a girl normally into girly stuff, is totally into checking out cars now. (Note: Steve is obsessed with luxury cars). Joanna needed to get a fake Kate Spade purse for her sister. Steve ended up getting a fake Gucci purse for his girlfriend. After about 3 hours of purse shopping, I had a driving need to buy my own fake purse. Hopefully the urge will fade now that I’m away from NYC, and I was able to dig up a fake Luis Vuitton purse out of my closet. I’m not sure if my friends picked up any weird habits from me. I had a cold the entire time…so they may have picked that up from me. *_*

Well now all my friends are gone, even the one here for the summer internship. I have laryngitis now, so it’s not like I can talk to anyone. I’ll need to think of something else to fill up my time though in the future. I’ll let you know if something interesting happens.

To be or not to be single...

2004-07-16T16:03:00.000-04:00

So I’ve been thinking…maybe I should start dating again. The grass could very well be greener on the other side. Plus since the relationship with Mike, I’ve been pretty cynical about boyfriends and romantic relationships in general. Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in love. I have just started to believe that guys have a bad tendency to lie when they try to make good impressions. While this phase only lasts around a month and even after the girl sees the guy’s true nature and has serious doubts about the relationship, she already likes him… and it’s all down hill from there, because just liking and being attracted to someone isn’t enough in the long term. I'm hoping I'll be more optimistic about the whole relationship thing, once I start dating again.

But trying to find dates is going to take a lot of effort. Westchester NY isn’t exactly the best area to find singles, it's a very family orientated area. Between the bar and the gym, I’m not sure which one would be the last resort, since I don’t drink or exercise. There’s on-line dating, but it doesn’t hold much appeal anymore. Speed dating and singles clubs are usually for an older age group. At church, I met generations of families, with no singles in my age group. Oh yeah, and to all my friends who tell me that guys pick you up in book stores, it doesn’t happen to me. So what are my options?

Ah heck maybe I’ll go back to sitting on my butt, and hoping some cute, intelligent, dependable , caring guy picks me up. Now I remember why I’m single. I’ll have to give this some thought. Let me know if you have any ideas.

The day he left me.

2004-07-12T21:27:00.001-04:00

I’ve probably talked about him a lot…the one guy in my life. The cute, 50 lb, fat ass, black and white dog named Smokey Joe. Sunday morning, he slipped into the bushes under the guise of just using the bathroom, and decided to go exploring as well. OK I thought no big deal, because I figured he’d be back, he always returns within half an hour. But then 2 hours passed by, and I was worried. I drove around town and talked to neighbors, who hadn’t seen him. He didn’t have his collar on, so I figured someone picked him up, thinking he was a stray. I started making “lost dog” fliers and even filed a police report. I was actually surprised that the police took a lost dog report… don’t you have to wait at least 24 hours before you can report a missing person? Anyway I called a couple people to let them know he was missing. It didn’t help that after I told my parents, they started calling me every 3 hours to see if I found him. Then my mom had to tell me stories about the time her dog got hit by a car...twice. Also a dog down the street went missing 2 weeks ago and was ended up as road kill on the highway nearby. But I was able to stay calm, because I felt the same feeling that I always felt with my ex, when he didn't meet me like he was supposed to...that he was fine, but he just wasn’t letting me know that. And he was always healthy and fine. Yet this situation was freaky. That night, I could listen to break-up songs and actually relate it to my dog. Fortunately for my sanity, I found him the next night. Luckily, I live in a small village with only two vets, two grocery stores, one police, and almost everyone knows each other. Plus the neighborhood is upper middle class, so the kids have cel phones and can call my long distance cel number. So someone, who saw a flier at a vet, knew that her friend had a stray dog at her home. I then received a phone call from a girl, who told me Smokey was looking for a new home at her place. Unfortunately for him, her family already had a dog. But they fed him and, like any stray cat, he probably felt that this place was as good as any to hang out. Anyway he doesn’t seem traumatized and is back home. He still gets spoiled here, but no more off-leash bathroom trips for him.

Cooking shows

2004-07-10T21:54:00.000-04:00

I'm watching Iron Chef. I couldn't look away, right now it's on commercial. Now I truly understand why there are so many cooking shows in Japan. It just sucks you in. Japanese TV is on a totally different level than American TV. I never have problems walking away from American cooking shows. Luckily this American TV, because like many Americans, I'd probably be enthralled with Japanese commercials too. Uh oh here it starts again.....can't type need to watch....

The beginning.

2004-07-09T22:43:00.000-04:00

For the same reasons I tried on-line dating, I now have an on-line diary ...
A couple of my other friends seem to enjoy it. I already spend a ton of time on the net, so why not. And who knows what will come out of this experience.
Hopefully, this will last longer than the relationship.