Managing Guilt

I love planning always have and dreamed about the day I'd get to plan my wedding. When I watched other friends plan, I always thought I won't get that stressed out like that. we're not going to be that uptight about what's right and wrong. Little did I know. Everyone might said, it's your day do what you want. But in the end, I just want our family and friends to celebrate with us and enjoy themselves. I don't mind the suggestions from all the people around me, actually it helps to hear it early on. But being a little overwhelmed with all the thoughts on being considerate and etiquette, it helps to have read this article on Knot.com, Stress: Get a Grip on Guilt.

Crackpot

A feel-good story


An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of
a pole, which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and
always delivered a full portion of water, at the end of the long walk
from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.


For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home
only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was
proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of
its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what
it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the
woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this
crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your
house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your
side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I
have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your
side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to
decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there
would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we
each have that make our lives together so very interesting and
rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and
look for the good in them.

SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to
smell the flowers on your side of the path!

Letting Go

I read once that stress is the emotion caused by the particular event. Anxiety is the emotion that lingers after the stressful event. In truth, I probably get depressed more from anxiety than from stress incidents.

I have a lot of frustration in my job and am really confused about what I want in my future, so I went and applied for a mentor at work. I hate to say that our first meeting was a venting session for me. I was really frustrated over the inefficiencies in the processes. A task that should only take one hour actually takes seven hours. There is no budget to develop the simple solution to resolve this, so we end up working overtime to get the task finished.

My mentor told me that I needed to accept that certain situations are not controllable and I need to learn to let go, especially if I already approached my manager about it. In instances where there might be an ethical issue, I can go to other experienced managers for advice. It’s hard to let go of issues on the days that I had to wake up at 5am and roll over to my laptop to start work immediately. But I do realize that there are about five other major time-consuming projects that I could concentrate on to fix other parts of the process. It didn’t help being bitter about loosing this one or many of the other battles. I guess life is about knowing which battles you can win, and just letting go of the ones you cannot. Plus it’s not like I’m married to my work. I think I’ll find another position soon.

People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them. - Epictetus

Winner

The Winner is always a part of the answer;
The Loser is always a part of the problem

The winner always has a plan
The loser always has an excuse

The Winner says "Let me do it for you"
The loser says "That's not my Job"

The winner sees an answer in every problem
The loser sees a problem in every answer

The winner sees a Green near every sandtrap
The loser sees a sandtrap near every green

The winner says "It may be difficult but its possible.
The loser says 'It may be possible but its difficult"

-Anonymous

Attitude

Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.
-Lou Holtz