Stop trying to help...

I moved to New York three and a half years ago. People ask me how I like it. I tell them that I fit in, sometimes too well. I am surrounded by people who are constantly trying to achieve something in their lives. Aggressiveness isn’t bad, people like results and it’s hard to get results if you don’t go after them. However it causes stress, not only for yourself, but often to those around you.

Someone recently told me that I was too aggressive and pushy, and it could be overbearing for those around me. I feel like a husband who tries to help his wife fix her problems, but she just get angry instead. They realized that I was just offering help, but people don’t want to be helped. I asked around, and the consensus was don’t try to help people if they don’t ask for it. Someone put it this way: occasional input is good because it may have insight; but your input/opinion shouldn't be the solution. Sometimes I’m screaming for help on the inside and really want someone to come and offer to help me. So I’ll often try to help others. But I realize now that people need to resolve things on their own, otherwise they can feel helpless or belittled. And often someone else's solution, isn't the best solution. So from now on, I have to learn to pay attention, listen, and stop trying to help people unless they ask for it.

Jim Stovall: You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins.