Letting Go

I read once that stress is the emotion caused by the particular event. Anxiety is the emotion that lingers after the stressful event. In truth, I probably get depressed more from anxiety than from stress incidents.

I have a lot of frustration in my job and am really confused about what I want in my future, so I went and applied for a mentor at work. I hate to say that our first meeting was a venting session for me. I was really frustrated over the inefficiencies in the processes. A task that should only take one hour actually takes seven hours. There is no budget to develop the simple solution to resolve this, so we end up working overtime to get the task finished.

My mentor told me that I needed to accept that certain situations are not controllable and I need to learn to let go, especially if I already approached my manager about it. In instances where there might be an ethical issue, I can go to other experienced managers for advice. It’s hard to let go of issues on the days that I had to wake up at 5am and roll over to my laptop to start work immediately. But I do realize that there are about five other major time-consuming projects that I could concentrate on to fix other parts of the process. It didn’t help being bitter about loosing this one or many of the other battles. I guess life is about knowing which battles you can win, and just letting go of the ones you cannot. Plus it’s not like I’m married to my work. I think I’ll find another position soon.

People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them. - Epictetus

Winner

The Winner is always a part of the answer;
The Loser is always a part of the problem

The winner always has a plan
The loser always has an excuse

The Winner says "Let me do it for you"
The loser says "That's not my Job"

The winner sees an answer in every problem
The loser sees a problem in every answer

The winner sees a Green near every sandtrap
The loser sees a sandtrap near every green

The winner says "It may be difficult but its possible.
The loser says 'It may be possible but its difficult"

-Anonymous

Attitude

Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.
-Lou Holtz

Inspiration

A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, it's better than no inspiration at all.
-Rita Mae Brown

Health Tips to reduce stress

I thought this was a good article...
Fitting Healthy Habits Into Your Hectic Life
-- By SparkPeople

There just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to accomplish everything you need to do. And it can feel like an added stressor when you are trying to integrate healthy habits into your already hectic schedule. But if you make time for healthy habits, you’ll find yourself with extra reserves of energy that will lower your stress and help you get through life’s challenges.

Here are a few things you can start doing right now to make healthy habits a relatively painless part of your routine:

* Drink water throughout the day. You don’t hear this nearly enough: water is an all-purpose wonder-substance. It’s great for your skin, your digestive system, and circulatory system, and aids in weight loss and cellulite reduction. If you feel fatigued during the day, it’s often because you aren’t hydrated properly. Drink water throughout the day, sipping from a large bottle or glass. If you have it nearby, it’s easy to remember. If you don’t like the “taste” of water, keep a supply of lemon so that you can add a slice to your water – it cuts any bitterness, adds a bit of vitamin C and makes it taste more festive!

* Cut back on the amount of soda and coffee you drink. Sugar and caffeine dehydrate you and create energy rushes followed by crashes, which are ultimately energy-depleting. Substitute with drinks like green tea or 100% fruit juice.

* Replace high-sugar foods with low-sugar versions. Cutting back on the amount of refined sugar you consume helps reduce calories and weight gain and also helps you avoid the energy slumps that come from sugar withdrawal. Items high in refined sugar include most soft drinks, cereals, baked goods, and of course, candy and ice cream. Look for low-sugar or no-sugar versions of these, or simply opt for healthy snacks instead.

* Stock up on healthy, portable snacks. When you are grocery shopping, pick up bags of baby carrots, string cheese, nuts, fresh and dried fruit, single serving packs of applesauce, yogurt, wholegrain crackers, peanut butter, turkey jerky, etc. Having healthy portable snacks around will help you avoid bad vending-machine, convenience store and fast-food options. Read some more portable snack ideas.

* Take the time to plan healthy meals for the week. Spend 15 minutes or so to map out your meals. Keep it simple. Then, when you shop for groceries, make your purchases based on the meals you will make during the week. This will help you avoid relying on less healthy take-out or fast food choices. Learn even more grocery store tips.

* Purchase frozen, ready-to-cook ingredients. Frozen fruits and vegetables have high vitamin and mineral content because they don’t sit around losing these nutrients for long before they are preserved. Although you’ll want to keep plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables around, it’s great to have frozen produce available for quick meal additions and smaller servings. Also, some grocery stores offer frozen boneless chicken breasts and a wide variety of seafood items in re-sealable packages. These are great for quick, healthy meals.

* Pack your lunch the night before. You'll have given yourself the gift of extra time in the morning and you will assure that you have a healthy meal during the day. Don’t forget to pack snack items so you can avoid the vending machine.
* Cook double batches of whatever you’re cooking. When you prepare dinner, especially on weekends, cook extra and freeze to use for another dinner or lunch. Then, you'll have a healthy meal ready to go when you are.

* Give yourself some slack. If you are stressed out about preparing healthy meals every day, use what some experts call the "80/20" rule in your eating. If 80 percent of what you eat is healthy, then allow yourself to take it a little easier for the remaining 20 percent. You and your diet will survive.

* Fit in exercise whenever you can. Experts recommend that adults exercise a minimum of 30 minutes three times per week. Aim for this amount, but don’t kick yourself if you can’t meet this goal. Any amount of exercise is better than none. No time to go to a gym? Build a stock of exercise tapes – many have routines that you can complete in 20-40 minutes. Use hand weights or do crunches, leg-lifts and lunges while watching television. Or invest in an exercise bike – you can pedal while catching up on your reading. Think of what would be most interesting to you and what best fits your schedule and budget.

* Take a walk break during the day. Even 20 minutes can make a difference in your energy level, plus it gives you time to clear your head. If you walk with a friend or colleague, it also gives you time to socialize.

* Whenever possible, walk. Increase the amount of time you can walk, versus sit or drive. It doesn’t take that much extra time to park a bit farther from the store entrance, or to make a personal visit to a colleague rather than phoning, instant messaging or e-mailing.

* Get enough sleep. Even if you gain more time in your day by cutting back on sleep, you will be less effective throughout the day, as your energy level and cognitive functioning will be reduced. Insufficient sleep also makes you more susceptible to illness. By getting enough sleep, you become more efficient during the time you are awake.

Begin integrating some or all of these habits today. Make them part of your normal routine. You’ll be surprised at how little time is involved and how much better you’ll feel!

Light

Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.

-Chinese Proverb

Alive

Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

-from Howard Thurman

Patience

Be patient with everyone, but above all with thyself. Do not be disheartened by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage.
-from St. Francis de Sales

Optimism

Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
-from Ambrose Bierce

Feel Good Photos

I found my feel good site - Puppy Therapy.

Negativity Addiction

I joined an on-line stress management program through work. I was given a long list of things I should do including: waking up with a smile, chose to be optimistic when you wake up, choose a positive word or phrase to use each day. My idea of looking at the upside is to think: it could be worse…

I then realized that I was addicted to negativity. When things seem too good to be true, don’t you think there must be a catch? If I have low expectations, then I’ll never be disappointed, right? All this negativity helped prepare me for the worst. But when did I start rolling my eyes during happy, sappy scenes in movies. When did I start looking for the faults before the benefits? When did thinking about smiling and positive thoughts just seem stressful and depressing?

There’s definite inner resistance to change. Other than pure will power and practice, there’s not a lot of advice to cure negative thinking. Many guidances say to make it a habit to reject negative thoughts and think positively, whether it’s internal or external. It 's definitely easier said than done. But one author came up with some good ideas at just practicing will power to start choosing your reactions instead “of being slaves to them.” The one I really need to follow is: when you want to say something that is not important, decide not to say it.

Living in New York -where a sardonic attitude is prevalent even encouraged - doesn’t help. It’s like an alcoholic working in a bar everyday. As one article said, negative and positive thinking is contagious. One helpful idea is to surround myself with happier things, ie feel good movies, articles, or even photos. Maybe, I need to pick up and read “Chicken Soup for the Soul.” The idea is to do something to make you smile; I’ll need to think really hard for something at work.

Stop trying to help...

I moved to New York three and a half years ago. People ask me how I like it. I tell them that I fit in, sometimes too well. I am surrounded by people who are constantly trying to achieve something in their lives. Aggressiveness isn’t bad, people like results and it’s hard to get results if you don’t go after them. However it causes stress, not only for yourself, but often to those around you.

Someone recently told me that I was too aggressive and pushy, and it could be overbearing for those around me. I feel like a husband who tries to help his wife fix her problems, but she just get angry instead. They realized that I was just offering help, but people don’t want to be helped. I asked around, and the consensus was don’t try to help people if they don’t ask for it. Someone put it this way: occasional input is good because it may have insight; but your input/opinion shouldn't be the solution. Sometimes I’m screaming for help on the inside and really want someone to come and offer to help me. So I’ll often try to help others. But I realize now that people need to resolve things on their own, otherwise they can feel helpless or belittled. And often someone else's solution, isn't the best solution. So from now on, I have to learn to pay attention, listen, and stop trying to help people unless they ask for it.

Jim Stovall: You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins.

Return of the Blog!

I’ve realized that I have slowly become more and more stressed out. It’s not like I’ve never been stressed out before, but it is negatively affecting my attitude and is seeping out and affecting those around me. I don’t like who I’m becoming, so I’m going to seriously try to work on a stress management. One idea was to write in a journal, so I’m starting this blog back up again. I’m going to write my thoughts about stress related items, my thoughts on stress coping techniques, and try to do thing like post inspiration quotes every couple days.