Bartender: So what can I get you?
Me: Can I have an Orgasm?
Bartender: *smiles* Give me some time and I can give you one.
Me: *confused* you do know what goes into an Orgasm right?
Bartender: Actually I don’t.
Me: I wish I could tell you, people just give them to me. Something with Irish Cream?
Bartender: I really don’t know.
Me: Maybe it’s a NY thing. My ex didn’t know what an Orgasm was either….
Or what about, just a conversation with a friend about a Blow Job.
[I didn’t learn about these until this past year, so in case you don’t know...It’s a shot of Irish cream with whip cream piled up on it. To drink it, you put you hands behind your back and pick up the shot glass up with your mouth and chug it.]
Me: You know I just saw a girl do a Blow Job. I’ve never seen it done before.Friend: I’ve done them before.
Me: Really? I think it would be rather difficult. I mean how do you fit your mouth around the glass?
Friend: Just open your mouth wide enough.
Me: Wouldn’t you choke trying to swallow? I mean that’s an awful lot of liquid coming down your throat.
Friend: You just have to learn to hold your throat open.
….I still haven’t tried a blow job, so I have no clue what “holding your throat open” means. I guess these really are girly drinks. I can’t imagine a guy trying order these, unless it was on the behalf of a girl. Plus when I ask for orgasms from girl bartenders, they know exactly what I want and I never have any problems getting one.
2 comments:
I did a Blow Job at a party in college. You don't put your whole mouth around the glass (you don't want it to get stuck in your mouth). You wrap your lips around the rim but keep it in front of your teeth. Then you lift it up and pour it back.
Keeping your throat open allows kind of a continuous swallow without gagging, as opposed to taking individual swallows, which only allow so much liquid at once. If you've ever chugged or shotgunned a beer, or chugged any other kind of drink, it's a helpful skill. Also apparently useful if deep-throating during an actual blow job.
Keeping your throat open is also something that I can't do, so when I had my Blow Job (the drink) I swallowed about half, then gagged and spit the other half back into the glass, which was messy and embarrassing. That would also be messy if it happened to you during a real blow job. Whether it's embarrassing would depend on the tastes of your partner.
Thanks for the advice Kenny. I'll let you know if I ever use it.
Firey girl...I definitely prefer female bartenders. The guys have a tendency to make drinks that are strong rather than tasty.
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